Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
