can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize