Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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