Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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