ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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