Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm both gender and math confused
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
