So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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