I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
two words: eviction party
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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