Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
