Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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