Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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