I cannot find my penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
