you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
