You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
