i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
