Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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