dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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