If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
