to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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