All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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