i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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