Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
