My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
