He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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