Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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