I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
