Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
