She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
