that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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