I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
