we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
