We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
