So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
