If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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