Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
