I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want to fling myself into the sun
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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