the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
