She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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