he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
