I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
