i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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