you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
