You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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