I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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