So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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