I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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