how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
