Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
