Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
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Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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