Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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