Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
