Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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