Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
