new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
