At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize