You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
