So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
