I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
false alarm, still single
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
