Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
