You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
