i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
that's an acceptable place to lick
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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