I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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