how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
