Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
