spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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